Nepal: Andrew and Subechya's wedding (May 5 - 8)

Andrew and Subechya's wedding took form as a traditional Nepali wedding, more specifically a Newari (the ethnic group indigenous to Kathmandu valley and to which Subechya's family belongs) wedding. This meant multiple days of ceremonies, celebrations, and delicious food!

Supari - bridal shower (May 5)
The significance of Supari was a chance for Andrew and Subechya's close family and friends to get to know each other (when a wedding is on the other side of the world, such a gathering is indeed necessary!) as well as for the groom's family to provide the bride with engagement gifts. Of course we Persons had no idea what constituted appropriate Supari gifts (save Andrew who impressed us with his firm grasp of Nepali culture,) so these gifts were prepared by Subechya's family.

At Supari I met most of the attendees for the first time, except for two of Andrew's friends I recognized from before. I was at a disadvantage because EVERYONE knew who I was immediately. The guy that looked like a slightly taller version of Andrew. I had a good time though and chatted with Subechya's cousin Ayush who was awaiting replies from med schools as well as Andrew's friend Maren who was 1 week away from taking the MCAT. This chatting was enhanced by some Johnnie Walker provided by Subechya's dai (brother) Sabal. We then enjoyed delicious Nepali catered food in the yard of Subechya's multi-generational home. No major journey for much of her extended family as they simply lived on a different floor of the house! Following the feast the men were fitted for topis (hats) and the women for saris for the ceremonies of the next day. The women also were adorned with Henna art. I finished the day by dining with my mom at the Soaltee, then checking up on a 30 hour task I had run for work.

Jhanti - groom's arrival (May 6 morning)
Jhanti marked the occasion of Andrew marching from his home (the Soaltee, as it'd be hard to travel the entire 8000 miles in a morning) to formally meet his new bride and family. This procession traditionally announces the wedding to the town, so of course it had to be somewhat boisterous! We joined Andrew in his march along with the marriage vehicle and a Nepali marching band comprised of mainly drums and Scottish bagpipes (bagpipes, Scotch whiskey, seeing a theme here?)

Swaymabar - ceremony (May 6 afternoon)
Swayambar is the main event, the equivalent of the Western exchanging of vows and rings. It was conducted by a Hindu priest speaking ancient Sanskrit in Subechya's yard. I had ALMOST no idea what was going on the whole time, but I did understand that Andrew sprinkling Subechya's head with Sindoor powder officially meant they were married. I also understood that Subechya presenting her family members with betel nuts signified her departure from the family and arrival in a new unknown family. Of course, Subechya's cousins tried to prolong the departure by stealing Andrew's shoes and demanding bribes for their safe return. He wouldn't leave the ceremony barefoot, after all.

Pita Biee - bride's farewell (May 6 afternoon)
After ransom was paid and Andrew was allowed to leave the ceremony, he and Subechya prepared to enter their marriage "getaway" car. But not before one more Newari custom. Sabal hoisted Subechya on his back and chased Subechya's father and my brother, who were holding hands, counter-clockwise multiple times around the getaway car! Quite entertaining. And presumably dizzying.

Mukh Herne - family visit (May 6 evening)

Following the farewell, we joined Andrew and Subechya in their "new home" to welcome them and return gifts from Supari in preparation for their new life together. Oh, yeah, I actually, literally, mean "new home." Subechya's family provided the new couple with an actual house. A mansion by California standards. Man, when can I marry a Nepali girl?

The couple's new house

So, we relaxed and enjoyed the views from the new house, until it was time to call it a day. I got in a quick swim at the Soaltee pool, a run on the treadmill, and then restored my energy with a pizza.

Reception (May 7 evening)
The day of the reception began with my usual Soaltee breakfast (delicious) followed by a few hours of work and then a trip with Andrew and our dad to the Durbar Square in Patan. Andrew served as our guide and showed us some of the Hindu temples. I also got my first chance at some shopping, so I picked up a journal book and a book of Kathmandu Valley folk tales. I'm definitely a sucker for local folk tales everywhere I visit. They're more interesting than Lonely Planet guides and way more readable than Wikipedia pages. Following some rest, it was time for the reception. The biggest party of the week!

The reception was not so different from Indian weddings i had been to (or really any wedding for that matter) as it was essentially a big party with a lot of food. At the beginning my parents were presented with a very nice shawl by Kunchhang, who is Sabal's girlfriend. Her father is a highly accomplished Thangka artist. We then enjoyed another delicious feast of traditional Nepalese cuisine. I've always had a taste for the spicy curries of South and Southeast Asian food, so I had not tired at all of the food. There was however a remarkably limited selection of beer and wine. Upon advice from Sabal, I had settled on Tuborg as the drink of choice. And of course a few Johnnie Walkers. Following the feast was dancing by the attendees. Among the featured performers were the "basketball dance trio" consisting of Subechya's friends Faith and Bruno, and myself, the "crazy chest bumping" Uncle, and even cameo appearances by none other than my parents. My dad even busted out some social dancing. There was a lot of praise that my parents were able to share the scene in a "civil" manner. Well, at least publicly! Bottom line was people had a great time. A few people had too great of a time...

May 8
Originally the date Mukh Herne was scheduled, May 8 ended up being a relaxing and recovering day. I awoke with some energy so I decided to venture on foot to Thamel, the tourist/shopping district of Kathmandu. I got about 5 minutes into the journey when Sabal and Kunchhang found me and made me rethink my "venture on foot" decision. I took a ride from them instead. This was a smart move! The streets of Kathmandu are chaotic and unmarked, so getting lost would be extremely easy. Plus I avoided PBAs (potential bovine altercations.) After exploring Thamel, the wedding attendees reconvened for a group dinner at the Soaltee. While absolutely delicious, this dinner was suspect #1 of 2 of causing food poisoning for non-Nepali digestive tracts. After the dinner many of us enjoyed the Manchester United vs. Chelsea match. It was then time to pack for our trip to Nagarkot.